Conflict In A Relationship: 5 Sensational Conflict Resolution Tips
Conflict In A Relationship Will Inevitably Occur
Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, even the most healthy. When two people share space and time together, one of them will inevitably do or say something that irritates the other.
Regular disagreements and arguments are common, but they do not necessarily mean the end of your relationship. Arguments are actually beneficial to your relationship, as many happy couples will tell you.
Unresolved conflict in a relationship on the other hand, can be harmful as the same issues will reoccur time and again, causing a constant conflict in a relationship.
Why does conflict seem to cause so many problems if it is such a natural part of relationships? It’s because we frequently respond in ways that exacerbate the problem rather than resolving it.
We either bite back with hurtful words or snap back with a sarcastic retort. And this response only serves to aggravate the situation, making both partners angry and upset.
It makes no difference if you are a couple just starting out in your relationship, newlyweds, or a long-term union. Relationships will unavoidably experience disputes, and constructive disagreements are a sign of a strong bond.
However, many of us avoid having constructive disagreements and instead insist that we are correct and the other person is incorrect in the strongest terms imaginable.
To keep a relationship strong and healthy, this kind of binary thinking must be avoided. Keep reading to learn how to resolve conflict in a relationship.
These conflict resolution tips will help you transform the way you handle conflict in a relationship. Not only that, You will also understand causes of conflict in a relationship.
First let’s understand the idea of a healthy conflict in a relationship
What is a healthy conflict in a relationship?
Healthy conflict in a relationship is required to keep a healthy relationship.
What constitutes healthy conflict, however, varies from couple to couple. In general, healthy conflict is defined as a disagreement in which both parties feel heard and respected, with the goal of reaching an agreement that is acceptable to both parties.
It is critical to understand that healthy conflict does not imply that both parties will always agree; rather, it is about learning to disagree in a respectful and constructive manner.
A few key ingredients are required for healthy conflict in a relationship. First and foremost, both parties must feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings.
This means that both parties must be able to communicate openly with one another without fear of being judged or attacked. It’s also important to be honest about your own feelings and needs.
Second, both parties must be willing to hear each other out and try to understand where the other person is coming from. This necessitates empathy and patience.
Finally, both parties must be willing to compromise in order to reach an agreement that works for both of them.
It’s important to remember that conflict in a relationship isn’t always a bad thing; in fact, it can be a healthy way to work through differences and strengthen conflicted relationships to become good relationships again.
Naturally, no two conflicts are the same. So, how can you tell if the conflict in your relationship is healthy or unhealthy? The approach you and your partner take to the conflict is a critical determinant.
Do you think the problem can be solved through open communication and teamwork? Or does the discussion devolve into verbal or physical abuse, insults, or both?
If it’s the latter, the conflict is probably unhealthy, and you should seek help from a therapist or counsellor. However, if you can resolve the disagreement amicably, it is likely to be beneficial and may even strengthen your relationship.
Strategies to resolve conflict in a relationship
Tip 1 The first step in managing conflict in a relationship – Empathy
Understanding your own and your spouse or partner’s triggers is the first step in managing conflict in a relationship.
Finances, sex, and raising children are the three main areas where conflicts arise for most people.
It is crucial that both parties in a discussion understand that these sensitive subjects have a long history of escalating conflict in a relationship.
Before you respond, consider the following:
What exactly occurred? What is the issue? What effect does it have on you? Who is affected, and how? What are your partner’s thoughts on the issue?
Why do you believe your partner acted the way he or she did? What is your partner’s take on the situation? How can you constructively express your emotions?
Self-talking about the problem before responding will help you keep your emotions in check and will most likely result in a more productive dialogue.
If you find it difficult to address these questions before you respond, you may want to consider relationship counselling for guidance and support.
You should also enter the conversation determined to try to understand the other person’s perspective and to present your own in a logical way.
This is especially crucial when these important topics come up, which they inevitably will.
Tip 2 How to handle conflict in a relationship-Don’t make it personal.
When you respond to an issue by making it personal, you’re implying that your partner did it on purpose or that it’s a reflection of how they feel about you.
This type of response almost always creates an immediate barrier between the two of you and completely derails the conversation.
When you are attacked, it is natural to be defensive. However, when you go into defensive mode, you are not dealing with the issue at hand.
You’re only concerned with proving that you’re correct and your partner is incorrect. You’re not addressing the issue or finding a solution.
Instead, take a moment to consider things from your partner’s point of view. They are saying or doing what has irritated you for a reason.
They are not attempting to harm or attack you. Whatever it is about your partner that bothers you, attacking them will only escalate the conflict and in the end no one has peace.
So, before you talk to your partner, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your partner is not trying to attack you or make you feel bad.
Chances are, your partner isn’t even aware that they’re doing something wrong.
Making it personal is a natural human reaction, but it’s critical to try to move past it and focus on the issue at hand.
Tip 3 Pay Close Attention To Each Other
Avoid criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling
There are several factors that can cause problems in relationships. Criticism is one of them.
It can lead to defensiveness and contempt whether your partner criticises you or you criticise your partner. And once these emotions take over, it can be difficult to stop them. This is where stonewalling comes into play.
Stonewalling occurs when one partner in a relationship refuses to communicate with the other. It’s a tactic for ending a conversation and avoiding conflict.
However, it has the potential to make matters worse. When one person puts up a wall, the other may feel ignored and unimportant. If the stonewalling continues, the relationship may eventually fail.
So, if you find yourself becoming defensive or despising your partner, try taking a step back and communicating openly.
It may not be easy, but it is critical to try to resolve conflict meaningfully. It may be a good idea to consider professional help of a therapist or counselor.
When a disagreement arises, pay attention to each other and refrain from refuting the other person’s viewpoint. Avoid adopting a “I just know” attitude.
Try to provide evidence for your claims, and pay close attention when your spouse disputes them.
Repeating a portion of what they said (not in a demeaning way) will show that you have paid attention to what they have to say.
Tip 4 Try To Stay Calm And Relevant
As much as you can, try to keep on topic, or talk about the current issue. Avoid using generalisations like “You usually do this” or other negative expressions.
Don’t ever resort to calling people names either. Any message you try to convey will likely be ignored by the other person if you use harsh language, including swear words.
Avoid using physical intimidation since in these situations, people tend to defend themselves.
As an example you might not recognise that what you think is just a way to vent your irritation (such slamming a hand on a table) actually intimidates your partner a lot.
Tip 5 Have The Strength To Walk Away
Conflict has some issues that are undeniably non-starters. When a disagreement is getting hot, neither partner should ever physically approach the other.
When you have conflict in a relationship, It’s crucial to have the resolve to step away from a heated disagreement for a while to let things cool off.
This is because more often than not, by that stage, you’ve already gotten completely off subject and nothing will have been resolved. This will also ensure that you do not create or deepen other relationship problems.
The Goal Of Managing Conflict Is Reconcilliation
The goal of managing conflict in a relationship should be reconciliation between you and your partner.
The issue must be resolved quickly, preferably before the day is over. The worst course of action is to let issues linger because a recurrence of the dispute is unavoidable.
Last but not least, be prepared to apologise; doing so will demonstrate that you care more about the bond than the problem.
